Im the deadliest scallawag that ever swung a sword

The proper study of mankind is Man -Pope

2006-12-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

A creator who gives us no clear directions about the links between sin and suffering is nothing but a monster; more monsterous still would be a creator who didn't link them at all.

Assuming the world is made to suit our purposes, we are outraged and miserable when it doesn't.

A man who thinks that all the world exists for his benefit is no better than a pamered goose who blieves that the farmer who fattens him exists for his.

-Neiman

screenplay

2006-11-21T14:43:00.000-08:00

almost done with the first 30 pages of my script.

"sweet jesus..." you might say to yourself. that is right. you're all doomed.

In a sweater poorly knit

2006-11-17T01:44:00.000-08:00

you're a door without a key, a feild without a fence,
you made a holy fool of me and i've thanked you ever since,
and if she comes circling back, we'll end where we'd begun,
like two pennies on the train track the train crushed into one.

but if i'm a crown without a king, if i'm a broken, open seed,
if i come without a thing, then i come with all i need,
no boat out in the blue, no place to rest your head,
the trap i set for you seems to have caught my leg instead.

mewithoutYou

It's been a while, but yeah, i guess i can update this upon occasion. I've uploaded some of my projects to googlevideo. I just finished editing Closet, and i think it turned out ok. I'll upload it soon. Here's links to Ompa and that funky finch edit.

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=aaslid

rock and rofl

2006-06-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

so my new job entails me making as many bullshit blogs as i can per hour. the desire to actually update my own is somewhat diminished... infact, i'm rather suppliesed that its updated. who did this? damn you satan.

people call me norway now.

morning humor

2006-05-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

Three men are hired by a mining company. On the first day of work, the three of them show up at the mining headquarters. There are two huge men, and one tiny scrawny asian. So he assigns the two monster-men to mining duty, and he tells the asian that he's in charge of supplies.

The next day, the foreman is supervising as usual, and he begins to find it slightly odd that he can't find the tiny scrawny asian anywhere. So he begins hunting for him. He looks all around the mines surrounding buildings, and no asian to be found. Then he enters the mouth of the mine, still no asian. He grabs a flashlight, and takes the elevator down, and still no sign on the asian. He begins to scour the entire mine. He is nowhere to be found. And just as the foreman gives up the search, the asian jumps up from behind a rock and yells: "SUPPLIES!"

DCLVXI

2006-04-30T01:40:00.000-07:00

wow, am i emo or what? man i wish my grass was more like my last posts, then it'd cut itself. HA!

yeah, so... from now on, its back to cheery cherry cheesy chernobl. sorry, its been a long week and my brain is kansas-fried. "Willy...i dun think weer in kentucky anymoor".

for being the first post in a long time (not to mention the first non-emo-bullshit post (wah, wah, nobody loves me. wah wah, im so emo. wah wah wah wah))

ok, so here's whats been going on:

working on my first feature: Yesterdays Tomorrow. Doing Special Effects Make-up (shut up, im a burly, manly, lumberjack, handy-man of a man. plus: bruises, blood, gore, guts, :boner:)) yeah, but due to incapable art directors (sorry annie, nothing personal, i dont know you, but you DIDNT DO YOUR SHIT = INCAPABLE/INCOMPETENT/POOPIE-HEAD.) i am now doing art department shit. setting up sets, etc. but the awesome part, is that we're working in an abandoned Radisson Hotel. It's gunna be demolished soon, so we can do whatever the fuck we want. holes in the walls, pull out screws by punching a melon-sized hole in the wall, tear up carpet, knock down doors....you name it. we can literally level the place. tell me if you know of a better location than that. oh, and i forgot to mention that its haunted. does it get any better?!

editing my short: its finished telecining, and due in a couple of days. animating and editing this shit is a bitch. sound design? coming up.

ok im done. maybe i can write something entertaining sometime soon, but right now, the feature and editing is all i have time for. literally. i get maybe 2 hours of sleep a night. except for fridays, when i get 24.

:PART IV: marvel...the curse becomes.

2006-03-07T02:19:00.000-08:00

g e t m e o u t o f h e r e .

:PART III: marvel...the cure becomes the curse.

2006-02-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

it happened again. i'm pitiful. pathetic. poor chris. always wants what he can't have.

beat.

and with the power invested in me, i now pronounce you miserable.

beat.

i wish i was cured like leather.

beat.

this is what chris said at the last rejection. funny how it conveys the same overall feeling of depression, dismissal, and ensuing drunkenness.

bleed.

The first time I saw her, I fell so hard my heart broke. This rusty mechanical heart, programmed for beating, stubbornly continued its monotonous course, filling my veins with razor sharp shards and battery acid. The burning that coursed through my veins changed from a gentle concise throb to a consistent soaring hiss. I swear I could hear the crackling of my body burning.

The one thing I love about autumn, is when the fire from the trees consume the ground; through the rain, you can hear them burn. You can always hear me burn.

By the end of that day my eyes were as attached to her as her skin. Through the weeks, her routine haunting remain unyielding. However, her eyes reveal the painful truth. I am like a car wrapped around a tree. An instant decrease from 80 to 0. Certain driver casualty. I pray I'm blind. Obtuse to the bone. I'm like a child trying to catch the Easter Bunny. I'm like a criminal trying to rob Santa. I'm pathetic. I'm so depressed.

beat.
bleed.
break.

:PART II: marvel...the cause becomes the cure.

2006-02-12T03:11:00.000-08:00

:PART I: marvel...the truth behind black stars on a black backdrop

2006-02-07T03:33:00.000-08:00

i'm not one to wallow in self pitty. but i dont have anywhere else to express myself. so ignore this if it bothers you, ya fucking douche.

i am so depressed.

i've just been living in this state of apathy and insincerety for too long. it seeps through your pores, and taints your blood. if you don't catch it in time, you'll end up one of the mindless pseudo-people, and join rank in the mindless army of apathy. i've been having a harder and harder time connecting to people. i feel this chasm growing deeper day by day. its gotten to the point where i just feel completely and utterly alone. all i hear is my echo, and all i see is the barren desert. i dont have anybody. only you, my dear diary. you will help me overcome.

it's called winter depression. The extreme darkness of a northern winter syphons its way into the vacuum of your skull, beating its black heart and bleeding its black blood into your brain. It's like that. just without the darkness. or the winter. all you can see is that dark shadow your eyes are swimming in.

and then you meet someone new. and the loneliness dies, a bullet piercing its wicked heart. You watch the pool of bitter blood grow, as you frolic in what you had almost forgotten. a connection. somebody. so you nurture it. this is what you've wanted. this is what you've ached for. somebody. special. but then it dawns on you. this isnt new. it's an old person you've disguised in a simmilar body, in a simmilar voice, with simmilar mannerisms. and then you know. you dont actually know anything about them. only what you want to beleive. only the memories of who they almost are. the loneliness pulls a jesus. but thats what you get. its an emotion, it wont die you stupid fuck. thats what you get for being so damn dense.

school vs. piracy

2006-01-17T03:13:00.000-08:00

what to do? be a pirate and plunder for the rest of me days? or study hard and work for the rest of me days?

captain balding

2006-01-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

Its an optical illusion. I swear to you that i'm not really balding.
not yet at least. happy new yeah to the world. Not everybody had a blasty at monti's. i cant beleive it, 4 bucks a shot=drunkard.

King Kong knows what December is really about

2005-12-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

It's December. The time of the year when people spend a fortune on lights and gargantuan blow-up snowmen to set up next to the saguaro (much to the dismay of anybody with taste, but a treat for the rest with BB guns).

I realized something today. And not just any old thing either. I finally know what December is all about. It's not about Santa. It's not about christmas, or even Jesus. It's the one magical time of year, that Peter Jackson brings the world a big expensive present. It's like New Zealand is the new North Pole, and once a year, Peter Jackson and his crew of magical midgets, ride in on their big fucking chariot of justice and glory to bitchslap Santa, his elves, and Hollywood. And with a budget of $110 million, 16,830 feet of film stock, and a big brain filled with big gorillas, you would expect no less from Peter Jackson. This is a film filled with excitement, horror, action and a bleeding heartful of tenderness. However, if you have an unexplainable fear of heights, arachnids, lots of motion, or a kick in the brain, this might not be the film for you. And its definately not the film for your little kids to go "wah wah wah" throughout half of the movie, and shout about how silly it is and how they're not scared at all, for the rest. They should be murdered. This film is an absolutely glorious gift to the world. Do yourself a favor and see it.

norway pictures

2005-08-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

"a represenative will be with you shortly" my ass.

2005-08-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

School starts on monday. call me crazy, but i'm excited. Finally studying something that fascinates me. However, i only scored 3 classes. I have to see if i can get some more on monday. last minute bullshit thanks to the operation.

My parents bought a new house. signed the contract today. it'll be done in 8 months. 6 bedrooms, 3 car garage, gameroom... even a big big back yard. good for them. they've been wanting to do this for a long time.

i'm on the phone. if thats what you'd like to call it. I'd rather call it a horrid exploitation of my time. dropped one computer off the internet subscription. that means listening to some horribly tedious and slow-spoken lady enunciating and articulating every last syllable. telling me how to reset my modem and update windows for an hour and a half. i'd rather shoot fire and call down lightning; fire a cannon and drink more grog. to each his own, i suppose.

i gave up. its been an hour and a half, and apparently, the customer service departmet consistg of 3 parrots, a donkey, and include the risqué ideas of a really foul smelling lumberjack.

Next on the blog, i'll fix the comment boxes to expand/collapse. it'll look nicer, but its kinda a pain in the ass. stay tuned.

new format

2005-08-18T04:07:00.000-07:00

gave my blog a makeover. enjoy it, there's more to come. oh, yessir, there most certainly is...

Drunken Magnetic Poetry

2005-08-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Kace and I had some fun with magnetic poetry a while ago at a drunk. yes, at a drunk.

there were two others:

"if you were a laser, you'd be set on Stunning"
and
"is that a braille nametag?"

aharr

2005-08-17T02:40:00.000-07:00

"do you have a cousin named sven?"
"no, but i once had a barber named dominique."

-stoffel